Most women need connection to feel aroused

This is definitely a generalization based on my own experience and women I know. I’m not saying that it could never change but most women seem to need a sense of connection to a potential partner before they will feel aroused.

It seems more common for guys to know that they’re either interested in sex or not interested in sex right away. They don’t seem to need a lot of information about their potential partner’s values, intellect or character immediately. These qualities are important for men to pick a long term partner, but they don’t seem quite as crucial for men’s immediate arousal as they are for women.

For women, there may be an immediate chemistry but most women seem to need a strong sense of who the man really is before they are comfortable with intimacy.

So what we get is a really bad little pattern where both sides think they’re being gamed.

They guy is attracted and just wants to know if she is and if she is then what’s holding up the physical part?

The woman is either immediately attracted or not. If she’s immediately attracted, she still might need to feel a sense of connection and safety before wanting to move forward. She might want to avoid that queasy awkward feeling of finding out there’s nothing to say to the guy after sex. Men might also feel that queasy awkwardness but I’m guessing not as much. Am I right?

If she’s not immediately attracted, she may like the guy and she may hope that, over time, as she gets to know him, she’s become attracted and aroused. She may need to put on a little mileage with him before she feels like getting physical.

So, guys, if she just wants to hang out but doesn’t want to get physical that may be why. It’s not a game for her, really. It may just be that she can’t feel intimate until she knows who you are at a deep level.


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