More insanity about women having orgasms through intercourse

More insanity about women having orgasms through intercourse

I love Margaret Cho but I kinda don’t get why having an orgasm through intercourse is important enough to get a medical procedure to facilitate it.

She told the ladies on The View that she got what’s called a “g-shot” – a bead of collagen injected into the g-spot (OMFG.)  She said it didn’t work (surprise!) and was a not fun experience.

Happily, Margaret recommended against doing it.  Yay!

Letting someone in there with a needle when you don’t have to?  I SO don’t think so.

Stop the insanity!  Most women don’t have orgasms from intercourse alone.  So fucking what?  I get that whole face-to-face (or whatever) intercourse thing makes it nice for everybody to have orgasms about the same time but there are ways to make this happen.

  1. She adds a little clitoral stimulation with her own hand while you’re having intercourse.   This is good but is a little like masturbation which I’m not dissing but doesn’t quite have the punch of someone else making you come.
  2. You add a little clitoral stimulation with your hand while you’re having intercourse.  This may be a little carpal-tunnel producing in missionary position but doggy style and side-to-side it’s easy.  Try it.  Get in the rhythm.
  3. See how she is about adding a little toy/vibrator thingy.  For some women, vibrators make for way-too-fast, way-too-trivial orgasms but for others they’re great.

I hope we get over this women having orgasms through intercourse is far superior to women having orgasms the way they have them thing SOON.



  1. Don’t take this the wrong way, but can we trust the opinion of a non-heterosexual woman on this issue? You admit to not being particularly fond of the penis in the 1st place, so…

    Could it not be said truthfully that you place less value on a vaginal orgasm because your bisexuality has caused you to value it less than a heterosexual woman might?

    • Dear Jonolon,

      I’m not taking it the wrong way at all, thanks for the question!

      The theory is that since I’m bisexual I value vaginal orgasm less than heterosexual women.

      Firstly, the research I’ve read is done on heterosexual women. A minority of heterosexual women report orgasm through intercourse alone despite considerable pressure from bunches of cultural institutions for them to highly value orgasm through intercourse alone as the “best” way. Freud privileged “vaginal” orgasm as representing health over pathology and countless women have been held to the standard of “all my other girlfriends” who (supposedly) orgasmed through intercourse alone. So I don’t think it’s an issue of what women value.

      The disjunct is between value and reality. We all may value looking like Gisele Bundchen but she is, to put it mildly, physiologically unusual. Valuing what she is at the expense of valuing what we are (instead of valuing both) doesn’t help create happy, healthy and sexually positive people. That’s why the slogan on the blog is, “Get real about sex.”

      As for my not being a particular fan of the penis, I would disagree. I may not be a fan of the penis exclusively but I think that adds to my appreciation of the penis rather than detracts from it. It’s not a zero-sum game; it seems to me that appreciating more about sexuality leads to more fun and thus more appreciation.

      Thanks for the comment!

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