Getting real about women will make YOUR sex MUCH better

I should probably say this in all caps but…I am about to point up some negatives about pornography.  I am not suggesting that pornography be made illegal.  It’s absolutely stunning how panicked most men seem to get about pornography.

Let me say this again.  I’m not suggesting that anyone will take away pornography.

Do I need to say this again?  I’m not suggesting that anyone will take away pornography.

I’m probably still going to get comments about free speech and censorship and whatever.  Save those typing fingers for better things, guys!

But here’s a problem with pornography – among many.  Pornography, in my opinion, tends to dumb down sex.  Certainly there are exceptions but in a vast, vast, vast sea of pornography, the sex is really, really, really, really, really, really basic.

Pornography’s audience is primarily male – that’s no secret.  But guys, it sells you short.  Pornography gives a version of sex where everything that the women are or do is oriented toward what the male audience (ostensibly at least) wants.

The women look like men seem to want (impossibly slim but with gigantic breasts), act like men seem to want and approach sex in way that is completely oriented toward men.  Which makes sense – they’re being paid to please the customer and the customer is male.

I think these are the primary images in lots of guys minds as they start opening up to sex; it’s what they grew up on.  But the women in porn aren’t showing women’s real sexuality.  They aren’t showing a slow, deep, arousal cycle that involves every part of their bodies.  They aren’t showing all the ways of deep, intense sex that isn’t just intercourse.  They’re not showing the transcendence or intimacy that makes sex powerful.

So men grow up without realizing the power – for THEM – of tuning into women’s sexuality.  This is something the ancient Tantric sexual arts have taught for millennia.  When men open up to women’s slow, deep arousal cycles they have longer, deeper, much more satisfying sex.  Many men report orgasm separate from ejaculation, the kinds of full body multiple orgasms that women have, lovemaking that lasts hours instead of minutes and a world of pleasure they never thought possible.


What’s you sex q?

Heterosexual men: what’s your sexual intelligence quotient? How much do you know about female sexual physiology? Did you know, for example, that the clitoris has more nerve endings than the penis? The clitoris is ground zero for women’s sexuality and orgasm. Although women often enjoy intercourse, only a small percentage of women orgasm from intercourse alone.

There is clitoral tissue that is accessible from inside the vagina – there’s more to the clit than meets the eye (or tongue or fingers!)

All those emails and late night commercials want to convince you that women’s satisfaction depends on how big your penis is and how long you can have intercourse – not so! Her orgasm is way, way, way more likely to be about her clit and how you can stimulate it. Stay tuned.

Remember, though that every woman is the best expert on what works for her, sexually. The more open and honest you can be with her, the easier it will be for her to tell you, directly, what works for her.

Are you manly enough for an anatomy lesson on